


Sylvain goes to MILF Denny's

by cosmicfrownies



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Established Relationship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, MILF Denny's, MILFs, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being An Idiot, chilling at denny's man, crackfic, i guess, that's it really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24639220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicfrownies/pseuds/cosmicfrownies
Summary: Literally what the title says.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Sylvain goes to MILF Denny's

**Author's Note:**

> I had this dumbass idea, so I executed it. There may be a Femboy Hooters version coming, but we all know Sylvain likes older women (and so does Balthus, so uhhhh hmmmm). Sylvain is just a dumbass horny bastard and that's it really. 
> 
> Anyway, hope ya like this shitshow.

“Why am I here?” Felix asked, sitting across from Sylvain. 

Sylvain grinned, “Come on now, it’s late and Denny’s is the only place open, man. You could’ve stayed in the car.”

“Alright,” Felix said, preparing to stand up. 

“No, don’t actually do that!” Sylvain exclaimed. 

Felix sighed, “Whatever. I hope you’re paying.” 

“My treat.” Sylvain winked. Felix groaned. 

“Ok, then I’m getting steak.” Felix set down the menu, not even bothering to look at it. 

“You wound me, Felix! A nearly broke college student! You’re just using me aren’t you, babe? I thought we had something together.” He frowned. 

“Stop acting as if you’re not a trust fund baby and order your damn food.”

“Ooo, pet names already. You’re getting cheeky, Felix!” Sylvain laughed as he looked at the menu. He was tired. It was late, nearly two in the morning. He and Felix had gotten back from a concert and it was a lengthy drive back to their college. Denny’s was the only thing open and Sylvain needed a break from driving. Some coffee seemed great and some pancakes. 

“Hello, what can I get you two to drink?” Sylvain heard a voice say and- holy shit. The waitress was  _ hot _ . 

Sylvain leaned forward and smirked, “Maybe I can get your number to start with,” he looked at her nametag, “Manuela?” He let the syllables roll off his tongue easily.

“Oh, I’m flattered, dear, but I’m sure I’m a lot older than you,” she said. 

“Ah, that’s not an issue-” Felix coughed. 

“Right, I’ll have a coffee, Manuela,” he winked at her. 

“I’ll have coffee as well.” 

“Alright, I’ll have that out shortly for you two boys,” Manuela smiled at the two and winked back at Sylvain. 

“Sylvain,” Felix warned once she was out of earshot. 

“I know, I know, but can you blame me? She’s hot, Felix. Did you see that rack? She’s thicc, man!” 

Felix groaned, “Sylvain, must you sexualize every human-like being you see?” 

“I do not do that! She’s a total MILF, dude! No need to get jealous.” 

“I’m not jealous. You’re just an idiot.” 

“Ouch, Felix, that hurt.” He held his hand over his chest. 

“Hi, I’ve brought some coffee, boys,” Manuela was back and she set down their mugs of coffee as well as a pot of it. As she leaned over, Sylvain got a glimpse of her cleavage. “So, what can I get you two to eat?” 

“I’ll take a stack of pancakes.”

“Steak. Medium rare.”

“What type of steak?” She asked Felix.

“I don’t care.” 

“Alright, I’ll get that out as soon as I can,” she smiled and walked away. 

Felix glared daggers at Sylvain. 

“What? She’s got cake too.” Felix groaned. “C’mon, you know I appreciate a good MILF like any other cultured individual.” 

“Yes, I know. I’ve heard the story about Ingrid’s grandmother many times.”

“She’s told you about that? Damn.”

“Of course she has. Sylvain, you’re a dumbass.” 

“But I’m your dumbass.” He had a shit-eating grin on his face. 

Felix rubbed at his temples. “I regret the decision every single day of my existence.” 

“Glad to hear it!”

The two boys continued chatting as they waited for their food. Manuela came back and delivered their meals. Felix scarfed down his steak and Sylvain indulged in his pancakes. Manuela brought the bill as Sylvain was nearly finished with his meal. Felix waited impatiently. 

Sylvain looked at the bill. “Damn, Felix, you’re lucky Denny’s is cheap.”

“It was a pretty shitty steak.” 

“That didn’t stop you from practically inhaling it. You seem to like scarfing down loads of meat, huh?”

“Shut. Up.” Felix’s ears were tinged with red. 

“Ah, those were some tasty mediocre pancakes. Gotta love Denny’s, man, especially this one. I mean look at that lady too, a total MILF. MILF Denny’s, man. Hell yeah. Gotta make sure I leave her a nice tip.” Sylvain fished through his wallet and found a $20 bill. 

“At least you’re a decent tipper,” Felix said. 

“Yeah, yeah, some people leave ‘em a quarter or something. Real shitty, man. Anyway, let’s get going, gotta pay at the counter.” 

Felix huffed. “Finally.” 

Sylvain passed Manuela, heading to the counter. “Bye, gorgeous.”

“Bye, handsome,” she winked and grinned when she noticed the tip on the table. 

Sylvain knew he would have to come back to this blessed Denny’s once again. Angsty boyfriend or not, MILFs were sexy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah that was that. Nothing too exciting. Anyway, hope you liked it anyway lmao. Feel free to comment or leave criticism (yes, please leave an in-depth criticism of my crackfic wherein Sylvain goes to MILF Denny's)
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @cosmicfrownies


End file.
